Parkdale

1.	Shining Tear of The Sun
2.	Parkdale
3.	Let Me Be
4.	Higher Ground
5.	Long As You're Living
6.	Sicilienne
7.	Con Alma
8.	Just One Song
9.	Next Time Around
10.	Mirror Livings

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Liner Notes

I've been living here since the move from Montreal, 4 years ago. It's a harsh neighbourhood - but then again, so is life. In this city that values aesthetic functionality and uniformity over allowing its history to be told through age and decay, Parkdale has largely managed to resist the gentrification that has hit much of Toronto. Some maintain that the tide is inevitable. I believe that as long as there is a place for the stalwart halfway houses and homes for those deemed mentally or emotionally "unstable", Parkdale won't see the marginalization of certain members of society, the way so many other neighbourhoods have. And in the end, I hope this is exactly what will allow for its preservation, in all its complexities and myriad stories. Like it or not, beyond the homogenized, picture-perfect bullshit that creeps up everywhere to call itself reality, lies the actual, true core - often harsh and ugly and full of contradictions, yet incredibly beautiful in its realness and resilience. So to me, Parkdale is a window into the soul of a city - complex, fragmented and above all, honest.

On a personal note, I've been on a quest to discover and accept who it is that I am, by slowly stripping away the layers. I have felt inextricably linked to my neighbourhood through this all; I have identified with it, and it has in turn shaped me and given rise to a host of creative efforts - most notably the tunes that are on this album. I remember the lyrics for Sicilienne weaving through my head as I walked along the lakeshore in the blistering summer sun, or the melody for Parkdale composed anxiously in my apartment, waiting for the cops to arrive as my neighbour (again) beat his wife. I remember the moment I found new love on Marion Street, and the ensuing questioning and testing of that love that became Higher Ground, or the late-night self-loathing and harm that turned out to be integral to exorcising childhood demons that made their way onto the album in quiet ways.

There is nothing grandiose or lovely or fun about the process of growth and change; it is both difficult and necessary. In fact, there's only one way to transcendence - right through the middle of whatever needs to be overcome. And while the pain may often outweigh the transcendence, maybe that's precisely what pushes us forward, to keep moving on. At least that's what I see around me: that stronger than despair is life, no matter how frail or fractured, or how subtle the near-extinguished flicker in someone's eyes may be. The very fact that we still breathe and grace the streets in sometimes tentative steps is a testament to the irrepressible will to live. This is what inspires me the most. So it is only fitting that I dedicate the album to this place - Parkdale - and all the souls who call it home.

Song Notes & Lyrics

1. Shining Tear of the Sun
This is the only song that wasn't entirely written in Parkdale - the melody was, but the lyrics have their own story. Last October, I went to Europe for 5 weeks alone to resolve a question that's been burning me up for years: do I want to make it my home again? I spent some time in Ireland, falling in love with the land and observing how the history is written everywhere in the stones that grace that island. I became acquainted with the ancient Ogham writing system, with each letter referring to a type of tree. It was used primarily by druids and bards for communication. They equally devised an Ogham calendar, and believed that depending on when one's birthdate, one is governed by a specific tree and displays traits encapsulated in the name of their birth sign. According to this ancient system, based on when I am born, "i am a shining tear of the sun". I found this to be an incredibly beautiful and melancholic image, and thought about what that image could mean for me, tied into my own sense of longing and estrangement from some source that I have only have fleeting recollections of. The lyrics came out of this.
(lyrics)

2. Parkdale
After a year-long stint at Queen and Lansdowne, I ventured further in Parkdale to Dufferin and King. My new neighbourhood and i began the slow process of self-divulgence. The characters began appearing out of the woodwork, and I slowly found my niche. The person who I remember most clearly, and with a huge amount of tenderness is Kevin Clarke, who boasts 5000 votes for mayor, one crack addiction, and an unstoppable artistic streak that finds its expression in the form of hopeful messages etched in chalk on the sidewalks. He's also known for late-night tirades, part spoken-word, part verbal rampage, loaded with socio-political content that were amusing, touching and often thought provoking. This song is dedicated to him and his invincible spirit.

I eventually left Elm Grove, after 2 incidents: first, my neighbour began uttering death threats to me through our shared wall, after I called the cops numerous times on him for beating his partner, and second, a man was shot outside of my bedroom window early one morning. I remember how no one knew what to do with his dog, and felt such sadness about the whole situation. The animal gave voice to it all as he sat there, whining and howling for days. The intensity was eventually too much, both in external environment and within, so I moved a little further west, this time north of Queen - a very different Parkdale indeed.
(lyrics)

3. Let Me Be
I heard it from the Taoists. There is the following progression of experience: first is thought, but before thought is feeling; and even before feeling, is the knowing.
(lyrics)

4. Higher Ground
In love, we act as mirrors, to ourselves and to our beloved. So that when we fall in love, there is no way around the surfacing of all the latent inner conflicts, demon and fears. The only thing to do is find a love that can hold it all still and create the space and security for us to settle into ourselves.
(lyrics)

5. Long As You're Living
I have always loved this song, for the lyrics and melody. It's one of the few songs the trio has been playing since day one, 2 and a half years ago. The arrangements have morphed and shifted organically over time, and I think this is my favourite version of it so far.
(lyrics)

6. Sicilienne
This is a classical melody written by French composer Gabriel Faure, initially for harp and cello. I was taken by it as a 12 year old living in France, and the melody has always stuck with me, though buried deep. My brother gave me a recording of it a couple of years ago, and it resurrected the song's haunting effect. I remember walking my dog Clovis by the Parkdale wind-generator on a scorching summer afternoon, writing the lyrics to this song, feeling absolutely depleted. Longing and I are old, old friends.
(lyrics)

7. Con Alma
This is a Dizzy tune that isn't often heard. The melody hangs effortlessly above these quirky, unpredictable, yet absolutely gorgeous changes. I wrote the lyrics as I began realized how obstinately inflexible I can be to live with and at times how difficult I am to love.
(lyrics)

8. Just One Song
I grew up intimately familiar with guilt, as it the case in most highly-religious families. It's taken me a good 15 years to undo some of that, though off course it wasn't all negative. So now i'm left wrestling with the genuinely positive effects, like wanting to improve my world in a socially-conscious way, while not allowing guilt to supercede authenticity. Then there's the whole other the fact that, as a musician, I often feel as though my life were incredibly self-indulgent, and the urge to leave it all behind and devote my life to spiritual development and social justice is strong. I suppose though, that like everything in life, it's just a matter of balance.... and in the meantime, the truest form of change can only begin from within and work its way outward.
(lyrics)

9. Next Time Around
I was once asked to choose between love and art. It could have been the nature of the love I had at the time, but I opted for art. And while my answer might be different now, it's really not so black and white. It's safe to say that our identity is wrapped up in those who share our heart, and equally in that which brings us joy. It seems an incredibly difficult mandate to try and balance that all sometimes. And if there's anything I know with certainty about life, it's that every way in which I spend my time means having a little less time for something else. So that question remains: what'll it be?
(lyrics)

10. Mirror Living
This tune is really about the phenomenon of anonimity that city living brings on. I've always found it strange how there's this massive discrepency between the highly emotional events that shape our personal lives, that we generally don't share, and the completely mundane events that insidiously make their way into conversation. I find myself wondering: what do we do with all of the stories of heartache and grief and joy? Where are they neatly tucked away? I know that, as much as we try to hide them, certain experiences are universally shared and will eventually find a way to seep out, be it without words.
(lyrics)